dreams suck sometimes.

Last night, I dreamed that I got my blog featured in Teen Vogue, and I had like 43 comments on every blog post and was getting my wish of being semi-famous among the fashion blogging community. And then I woke up and I expected it to be real, and I had to do that thing where you realize in stages that nothing happened.

Hate that.

Anyway, I need to show you Things I Need For My Birthday, which is June 2nd, by the way.

birthday! by artykat featuring Forever21 hair accessories

I know that tank top is from Hollister, but come on. It is pretty cute. Right? It's not just me, right? PLEASE DO NOT LET IT JUST BE ME

more dreams

So last night I dreamed that I was with my mom at an airport. It was huge and bustling, and had lots and lots of escalators. Like seriously, you could not just walk on the ground, there were escalators fucking EVERYWHERE, man. Anyway, the Boston Strangler was on the loose, and he was looking for me, but my mom didn't know that. So I said I was going to the bathroom, but really I just wanted to hide out from the Strangler. So my mom said, "Okay, but hurry up, because we're going to miss our flight." So I went on the escalator to the bathroom, but I couldn't hide because the restrooms were full to bursting with lesbians. Lesbians kissing, holding hands, lesbians texting, lesbians washing their hands, lesbians struggling to dry their hands under the shitty asthmatic-guy-blowing-on-you-hand dryer, lesbians OUT THE FUCKING WAZOO. So I panicked. I passed my mom on the escalator and she was like "JESUS CHRIST KAT WE'RE GOING TO MISS OUR FLIGHT LET'S GO" and I was like "JUST ONE SECOND MOM I'M TRYING TO EVADE THE STRANGLER" and then eventually I ran into this tiny, decrepit wooden bathroom, and the toilet was clogged with a bra for some reason, and just when I thought I was safe, I saw the shadow of the strangler creeping out from behind the partition.

to dream the improbable dream

Well, two nights ago, for the first time in years, I had a dream that caused me to wake up in the middle of the night.

All I really remember is going to bed at 11:30, waking up at midnight because I was too hot, taking off my sweatshirt, and going back to bed. Then, I dreamed.
Oh God, did I dream.
I remember having a cockatiel, and I was petting it, and then I decided it'd be a really great idea to shove the bird in my pocket. You know, for later.
Then I woke up really fast, thinking I actually did have a bird in my pocket, in real life, and I was thinking that either the bird would die from crushing or lack of oxygen, or it'd fly out without warning and scare me. I was actually more afraid of the latter possibility.
So I jumped out of bed and started pulling at my pajama pants (WHICH DO NOT HAVE POCKETS) and eventually ripped them off of me, at which point I realized, while standing in the middle of my room in my underwear and Super Mario t-shirt at 4:30 in the morning, that I didn't have a god damn bird in my pocket.